To All Perspective Dream Chasers

  “I’m Livin’ The Dream!”

Advice to all perspective dream chasers.

A lot of you who have been following me on Facebook, and know that I’ve recently moved out to LA.  I heard someone recently asked about me, “Why did she decide to jump so quickly to LA?” 

                Answer:  Because I’m following my dreams.

Sounds really “pie in the sky” doesn’t it?  “Following your dreams” sounds like it’s all rainbows and happy challenges where you get to the finish line with a robust smile on your face. Those are the Kodak moments. They get captured for perpetuity, but what you don’t see is the day to day, hour to hour  struggle. What you don’t get is that every day, I feel my guts up in my throat, I’m that scared and intimidated by this big city. Courage is facing your fears and moving forward, so this move to LA is the most courageous thing I’ve ever done in my life.  This coming from a girl who has backpacked Europe many times by herself, walked along the top of a steaming live volcano, lived on a small island - in a tent on the side of a hill overlooking the ocean in the US Virgin Islands, walked through Harlem alone past midnight, given her mother’s eulogy and has the courage to tell the truth even when it’s not the easy thing to do. In fact, I think telling the truth, is one of the most courageous things we can do. So that’s why I have to do this, because my truth, and it has been since I was 10, is that I want to live in California and be an comedian/actress.

Read more: To All Perspective Dream Chasers

I scared a skunk and I liked it.

Today I ran down a river in New Mexico. I saw a skunk and he scared me. Now he smells like Zan. This 4 Corners area is something you have to see. It’s a part of America that is easy to lose touch with if you are like me. New Mexico, Utah, Arizona, and Colorado meet in the middle of a gorgeous desert. It almost feels like another country. Perhaps that’s because of the strong presence of an entire race of people that I almost never see anywhere else in the world. But also the topography is mind blowing. It has one of the most beautiful cultures and awe inspiring land that I’ve ever seen in my life. To be here is to be moved on the inside, moved toward stillness. The formations of the desert humble me. How are the smells so sweet and soft, when the ground can seem so barren? Purity. That’s my answer. Seems so unadulterated in the desert. And as we cross the border into Colorado, the mountains in the distance speak to an America I’m more used to – ski towns and sunglass shops lay ahead. I miss New Mexico already.

I won the Lottery!!!!!

(If you want the back ground on this, read "Flying By The Seat Of My Pants" first - posted Aug 7th.)

When I got off the plane in Myrtle Beach, sure enough, no one was there.

After a couple of phone calls, I found out that I’d be staying at the home of the couple that was going to pick me up. I cringed. The news was a bit of a buzz kill. I was hoping for a hotel near the beach, now I was sure I’d be staying with someone’s grandparents, or by the looks of the crowd there, someone’s great-grandparents.

This hip chick comes striding through the airport with the confidence of a honky suburban Grace Jones - and I felt like a dog in a pound, my eyes got huge and my soul sang "pick me!"

Read more: I won the Lottery!!!!!

Flying By The Seat Of My Pants

A few weeks ago, I get a phone call with a bad connection from a well known comic. He asks if I got his previous message. No. Asks if I’m available in a few weeks to be a part of a 5 camera shoot in Myrtle Beach, 15 min set, to be a part of the “new Christian Comics” thing, and to call him back later. It doesn’t pay, but the exposure could be mega worth it. Are you kidding me? You had me at 5 cameras.

 So I cancel some club work I had booked for that weekend. When I call him back, the connection is even worse. He’s in Nebraska he says, and all I can picture is him out on some windswept field with horses and mountains in the distance. Likely I am confusing Nebraska with Montana. Likely he’s in a windy Wallmart parking lot.

Read more: Flying By The Seat Of My Pants